


Mr. Mosquito

by lisemily



Category: Arts & Sciences RPF, Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Llamas, Remix, mosquitoes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-16 01:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13626012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisemily/pseuds/lisemily
Summary: Wherein the mosquitoes and the llamas take over the story.  (Chapters 1-2 are canon; 3-8 are canon-divergent.)





	1. Into the Smoke

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The adventures of Robinson Crusoe : for young folks / edited by William T. Adams](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/356448) by Daniel Defoe. 



A beautiful wood, illumined by the red glow of the setting sun, looked very inviting.  I made my way to it over a plain covered with grass as high as my shoulders, which made it very tiresome walking.  The llamas would not go first, to beat a path for me; they knew better, and chose to follow me.

After walking at least three quarters of a mile through this high grass, I came to a little sluggish stream, which separated me from the wood where I intended to sleep.  As the banks of it afforded some sweet herbage for my llamas, I altered my mind, and resolved to pass the night on this side of it.

I was glad I had brought my supper with me from the seashore, for here I saw nothing eatable, except some cresses that grew in the brook.  I unloaded my llamas, and let them get their own meal, while I cooked mine.  But I soon found that this would prove no place of rest for me, for I was beset by mosquitoes on every side; the first I had met with on the island.  I hastened to kindle a fire, that I might save myself from the attacks of these tormenting insects by getting into the smoke.

—The adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Chapter VIII


	2. His Name is Mosquito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "One of my cousins is very musical, but I am sorry to say," (said the little house fly) "he is also a blood-sucker. If he shows any fondness for people, it's because he likes to bite them. His name is mosquito."
> 
> —[Eleanor Atkinson, _The How and Why Library: Little Questions That Lead to Great Discoveries_](https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/100662189)

I roasted my crab, and tried to eat it, but could not enjoy my supper on account of the mosquitoes.  I determined to quit the spot before I attempted to sleep.  The moon had risen, and by her light I found my way, with my reloaded llamas, across the stream, which I called Mosquito River.  A cloud of mosquitoes followed me, and I feared I should not get rid of them by changing my camp.

But, as I ascended the high ground opposite, a brisk wind suddenly delivered me from my tormentors.  A long, barren slope led from the river to the wood, which clothed the side of the hill.  On reaching the skirts of it, I turned to see the prospect, and had a very fine view of the country below.  I now saw that in crossing the plain of high grass, I had had the mouth of a large river on my right, into which emptied the small stream I had just crossed.

Being very much fatigued by my day's march, I threw myself down on the first dry and sheltered spot I could find; and my llamas were no sooner unloaded, than they did the same.  They never feed at night, but only sleep and ruminate, like the domestic cow.

I was soon lost in a deep slumber.  How long it continued, or what awaked me, I know not; but on opening my eyes I beheld a most appalling sight.  Vast clouds of smoke and sheets of flame were rolling over the plain below.  I gazed in silent amazement at the widespreading conflagration, so suddenly and unaccountably kindled.  A gentle breeze fanned the flame, and carried it over the plain at a rapid rate.  It was a grand sight.  As I gazed upon it, I felt grateful for my own safety, which I might possibly owe to those tormenting mosquitoes that drove me across the river.

I watched the progress of the fire, till it began to diminish for want of dry fuel.  When it was almost extinct, I dropped asleep again, from exhaustion of mind and body.

—The adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Chapter VIII continued


	3. Introducing Lulu-Llama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy llama, sad llama, totally rad llama...  
> —[The Llama Song](https://campsongs.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/llama-song-the-one-with-actions/)

Lulu was probably—certainly—almost definitely—the happiest of all the llamas congregated upon this island.

To be fair, it did not take terribly much to be happier than her sister Bebe, whose principal occupation seemed to consist of inflicting doom and gloom upon as great a percentage of the herd as possible.

To be frank, the intermittent, unpredictable, and unsynchronized disturbances of an entire generation of second cousins made any attempt at evaluating the average mood of the herd difficult to begin with.

To be sure, a nebulous majority of the llamas were too ensconced in their own dramas to care about the overall happiness of the herd, unless it could be introduced in an argument to meritorious effect.

At any rate, the most that could be said without miles of qualifications and caveats was that Lulu was probably—certainly—almost definitely—the happiest of all the llamas congregated upon this island.

For as long as Lulu had lived, things had always been the same.  Sometimes the herd was happy, and sometimes it was not.  Mostly, it just was.  Dramas went on without end, mediated from time to time by the capricious interference of the second cousins.  The only constant was Mama-Llama, a large, reassuring presence, forever chewing her cud with a sort of blissful resignation.

Lulu had spent the majority of her life content with her lot.  She might not have been the happiest llama, but she was happy enough, and did not particularly desire to be any happier than she was.  Certainly she held no aspirations to become the happiest of all the llamas congregated upon the island.  Yet that was, somehow, precisely what had happened.

She suspected the process began when she met Mr. Mosquito.


	4. Introducing Mr. Mosquito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If I had to choose between Mr. and Mrs. Mosquito, I should take Mr. Mosquito, for he neither bites nor buzzes, but attends strictly to his own business."
> 
> —[Jeannette Augustus Marks and Julia Moody, Little Busybodies; the Life of Crickets, Ants, Bees, Beetles, and Other Busybodies](https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/100492244)

Mr. Mosquito was an eminently respectable gentleman.  Unfortunately, when Lulu first met him, there had been some confusion on that point.  Tensions had run high on both sides, tempers had flared and, at the height of the furor, Lulu had called Mr. Mosquito a bloodsucker.  He retorted by labelling her a drama llama of the first degree.  Both maintained that they were absolutely correct, and and that their opponent was absolutely not.  The debate continued for a week.

Once they had exhausted all of their rhetorical devices, logical fallacies, and circumstantial evidence, it was clear that it would be necessary to introduce more definitive proof.  Now, it must be understood that the type of proof to be so introduced was the sort that could look you in the eye and tell you precisely how right, wrong, or simply foolish a party was in their argument.

In short, if Lulu had any hope of proving the point that she was not, in fact, a drama llama, she would be forced to introduce Mr. Mosquito to the regrettable company of the second cousins.  Mr. Mosquito, for his part, would likewise be compelled to introduce Lulu to the equally unpleasant company of his wife and her posse of sisters.

Lulu and Mr. Mosquito spent a second week debating which group of in-laws was worse, and a third on the topic of which should be visited first.  By the time a month had elapsed from their initial meeting, they had moved on from their initial dislike of each other and formed a tentative friendship founded on lively debates, for all that said debates were occasionally reduced to ad hominem arguments.


End file.
